Apply This Dating Technique to Your Job Search
Whether I’m speaking before audiences or working with clients, I always use analogies. I find they really help to make my points relatable. I’ve shared one with audiences that really seems to resonate about the importance of displaying confidence when searching for a job that I want to share with you.

Now men, I’ve learned that I can’t always use you as the target in my analogy because I’ve gotten responses like, “Yeahhhh baby!” Of course, this isn’t always true, but my analogy does seem to be more consistently relatable for women.

Here goes….

During my 25-year corporate career, I encountered thousands and thousands of job seekers. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard, “I’ll take whatever job you have!” or “I just need a job!” or “Do you have anything I can do?”


Don’t get me wrong, I can certainly appreciate when someone has a dire need to generate income because, after all, we all want to keep a roof over our heads and food in the frig. My sigh represents the sorrow I feel for people when they come across in a desperate manner, because it tells me they don’t realize the negative impact they’re having on the very person they want to impress.

It’s just like dating. Ladies, let’s say you are sitting at a table with one of your friends at a social event, and a man approaches both of you and says something like, “Hi, my name is _______ and I need a woman! I’ll take any woman! Would either of you be interested? I just need a woman!” What would you think of him? R-U-N!

Well, when people approach recruiters, hiring managers, or others in a networking situation in this manner, this is usually what they’re thinking – RUN! Why? Because, you’re telling the person you don’t have much to offer. You’re telling them your confidence level is low, and you don’t believe in you. No employer wants to hire and no one wants to make a recommendation for someone who has no perceived value and no confidence.

End of analogy – do you get my point? Employers want to hire the best and brightest they can afford. If you present yourself as the “low hanging fruit,” most employers will let you fall to the ground. Focus on making good eye contact, smiling, displaying engaging body language, speaking clearly and confidently, and emphasizing your strengths. If you do this, you will create better opportunities for success in your search.

Remember, you know you better than anyone else. If you don’t even believe in you, why will anyone else?